6 Important Lessons I Learned From Long Distance Relationships | Thought Catalog
If you have been in a long distance relationship, chances are you are a text after work/class, or Skype dates at the end of a busy week. You can even see when they are ignoring you (read receipts) or taking too long to lie. Is your boyfriend suddenly less responsive—like he's ignoring you? Are you having a hard time figuring out why? Let's look at some of the. Communication in relationships is difficult enough as it is. I'm in a long distance relationship and, despite the occasional argument, we've managed to figure out how to make things work pretty damn well, if I do say so myself. . After a few rounds of ignoring each other's calls post-argument, we decided to.
Truth is, I did learn many lessons — none of which make me any less inclined to continue with the relationship I am in currently. What does make it easier, however, is modern technology — Durex even made vibrating underwear that can be controlled by your partner via an iPhone app! I would even venture to say that being in an L. R improved me both individually and as half of a couple. Here are the reasons why. I learned how to communicate the right way When you are miles away from your S.
My first long-distance boyfriend was a Stage Five Clinger and that is putting it nicely. He called three or four times a day, would flip out if I took too long to answer a text, and kept me on the phone until the wee hours of the morning. On the other end of the spectrum, my second long-distance boyfriend would go all day without contacting me, send a text or two before going out, then disappear once he was drunk enough to forget he even had a girlfriend in the first place.
The Easiest Way to Get Your Boyfriend to Stop Ignoring You
Both of these approaches are completely unhealthy, and can cause more harm than good to your relationship. I learned how to be alone Duh! Your significant other will always be with you in spirit, but that does not make up for the fact that you will spend countless days and nights entertaining yourself.
This time alone can be extremely enlightening, and, if approached with positivity, can be a period of self-discovery. Is your ass punishing you for that extra piece of pie? Need to work on breaking 10, tweets? You can do that, too! I learned how to trust and distrust.
You may be wondering how the latter is positive, and why I grouped it with the former. Well, in all honesty, being wary in a relationship is healthy. I am not saying you should be hounding your partner and stalking their every move, but you should have a certain level of self-respect and be able to pick up on when they are not being loyal or trustworthy.
Two out of the three guys I dated long distance were complete douchebags. In other words, they both cheated on me. I guess what I am trying to say is do not let the distance throw off your loser lens — if the asshole alert is going off, chances are it is not a drill. Your boyfriend might be ignoring you simply because he doesn't want to keep helping you with random tasks. Some guys like doing their girlfriends lots of little favors, but most guys don't, and some guys really don't.
One good way to tell that a guy doesn't have that sort of "helpful" personality is if he never asks you for favors either. He Feels Smothered and Needs Space This is another common reason why your boyfriend might be ignoring you.
It's not a good reason since he really should be upfront and tell you that he needs space, but a lot of people who are afraid to speak their minds do this.
9 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You and What to Do About It | PairedLife
He could feel suffocated for many reasons. Some of them might not even be your fault necessarily; he could just be the kind of person who needs a lot of time alone, and you've been hanging around too often.15 SIGNS YOUR LONG DISTANCE LOVE IS ENDING
Maybe he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by turning you down, so he's just been ignoring you instead. He Is Considering a Breakup It's sad but true: It could be that your boyfriend is considering leaving you--or has already decided on it—and rather than having a long, painful conversation with you about it, he's ignoring you.
9 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You and What to Do About It
He might be contemplating how to tell you, but can't bring himself to face you in the meantime. He could also just be secretly hoping that you'll take the hint and disappear from his life. Obviously, whether someone would do this or not depends on their maturity level and how much they value the relationship.
Think back towards the past: Did he ever avoid telling you something important because he thought it would hurt your feelings? Have you ever seen him give a friend the cold shoulder rather than discussing the issue?
These could all be signs that he has trouble expressing what he wants openly. If he really is avoiding and ignoring you because he's too afraid to tell you, then maybe you're better off single.
It sounds terrible, but relationships like these really aren't worth it. The last time your boyfriend ignored your texts, what was his excuse? Nothing, he just texted me way later as if nothing had happened. He said he had been busy. Actually, I'm still waiting to hear back from him. And if your world revolves around him, then stop it. It is possible that he is deeply preoccupied with a huge life change or event, and has simply been too absorbed in that to contact you.
Of course, that's no excuse to not say anything, but at least it's a reason. Consider this possibility especially if you tend to be very demanding on your boyfriend's time. Ironically, if you don't have a tendency to call your boyfriend a million times per day, and calls from you are relatively rare, he's much more likely to answer. However, if you constantly want to spend hours upon hours talking on the phone, and hours more hanging out in person, then he'll realize that replying to you is a huge time commitment.
If he's short on time, he may put off contacting you and end up forgetting about your texts and calls. Again, that's not necessarily a good excuse, but it's understandable to a degree. If you have a needy girlfriend who wants constant attention, but you are in the middle of writing your dissertation, you're going to ignore at least a few calls. He's Cheating Just because your boyfriend is ignoring you, there's no need to get paranoid and jump to conclusions automatically.
Before you decide that he's unfaithful, you need to assess many different suspicious behaviors, not just one. But if he's been ignoring you a lot and hanging out with other random women, then you might want to consider this possibility. Again, there is no need to go totally psychotic on him, but you should think about taking some steps to figure out if he has been hanging out with other women instead of hanging out with you.
He Hates Talking on the Phone It could be that he simply hates talking on the phone, so he habitually ignores all phone calls.
In that case, it's nothing personal; he probably didn't even know that it was you who was calling because he might have not even glanced at his phone. For some people, it's hard to fathom how anyone in this day and age could dislike playing with their phone, but your boyfriend could be part of this minority.
I've definitely been guilty of this myself and I have ignored phone calls from the women in my life. Sometimes you just don't want to be bothered with pressing a hot piece of metal and glass to your ear.
If you think that this might be the problem, then try texting him instead and just waiting for him to get back to you. You could also try seeing him in person. You might find that he never noticed that you had called. In other words, he could be ignoring you on purpose—but only because he's ignoring everyone else, too. This might seem unfair to you, but it's just a fact of life that some people need more silence than others. It would have been polite of him to tell you what he needed ahead of time, but some women can get loud and complain about that sort of thing which defeats the purpose of silence.
What do you do if your boyfriend is ignoring you because he just happens to be one of these intense introverts? If you can't handle it, that's perfectly understandable.
Let him know that a relationship like this just isn't for you. Now that you know some reasons why you are being ignored, the question remains: You can't just sulk in your room all day pining for your boyfriend to contact you, instead you have to go out and do something productive.
Hang Out With Your Friends: Go out and meet up with your friends and do something fun. Doing this will help take your mind off the situation, plus who doesn't like having a fun time with friends? You can also try turning your phone off entirely during this time, so you don't obsess about your boyfriend contacting you.
Another great strategy is to disconnect and do an activity without your phone. Going for a run, hike, swim, or bike ride are all great options.
Getting out in the world without your phone is a great way to relax and not dwell on the situation. Plus it's good for your health! Watch a Movie or Read a Book: With Netflix and Amazon, you have plenty of options when it comes to getting movies or e-books at the touch of a finger.
Pick something that will capture your attention and relax. Again, turning your phone off enhances this greatly as you won't become distracted by anyone. How to Get Your Boyfriend to Stop Ignoring You For many people, it is not so much the why but the how—namely how do you get your boyfriend to stop giving you the silent treatment?
Here are some strategies to help you get him to start talking to you again. Remain Calm and Composed: Don't hassle your boyfriend and don't appear frazzled or upset, all that will do is make the situation worse. Instead, take a relaxed approach and wait for him to respond to you.