It is recommended reading for people who become ensnared in a similar type of unhappy, unfulfilled and torturous relationship pattern. What I found interesting. Your Ambivalence In Relationships Could Destroy Your Happiness makeup over and over again in the same relationship and become addicted to this pattern . People with Fearful-Avoidant Attachment patterns are ambivalent and afraid of commitment. They strike a balance in relationships in an attempt to avoid being.
Ambivalent Quotes (7 quotes)
He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the states Read More This posting is a review of a wonderful book that some of you may already be aware of and others not. It was written by Robin Norwood back in and was republished in paperback by Pocket Books in April of It is recommended reading for people who become ensnared in a similar type of unhappy, unfulfilled and torturous relationship pattern.
What I found interesting about this book was the fact that it accurately portrayed a certain type of woman who sought psychotherapy with me over the years. Their unavailability may stem from such problems as their alcoholism, narcissism, fear and avoidance of intimacy, rage, inability to form lasting attachments and any other of endless numbers of personality problems that make them unsatisfactory partners for anything like a permanent and happy marriage.
Yet, as Norwood points out, there are certain types of women who pursue men who will never make them feel happy. In fact, some of the men they pursue are abusive, rejecting, cold, distant, sadistic, ungiving and emotionally unresponsive.
Some of these men even make themselves physically unavailable for weeks or months under one pretense or another. Yet, the woman continues to pursue. In fact, why do they become obsessed with these men?
All the evidence points to the fact that these women repeat the pattern and seemingly learned nothing from their prior unhappy experiences. Norwood provides many explanations for why and how these unhappy women repeated trap themselves in unfulfilling relationships.
Attachment Theory Quotes
Basically, what she points to is the fact that these women are seeking the love that eluded them when they were children. In each case she cites, either one or both parents were unavailable to them. The unavailability may have been due parental personality problems, alcoholism and drug abuse, domestic violence or any number of other problems that interfered with parenting.
What always impressed me about these cases was the intensity of their obsessional symptoms and their inability to gain any understanding of what was causing their symptoms.
John Bowlby and Attachment Theory Quotes
The sessions were filled with ongoing discussions of their current boy friend to the degree that it felt to me as though I was invisible.
In other words, the connection or attachment we had with our primary caregiver, usually our mother, as children determines the way we behave in adult relationships.
This theory originated from John Bowlbywho believed that a warm, close relationship with one's mother is just as crucial to a baby as food and oxygen. Without it, a person would not be able to develop normally - socially or emotionally. Bowlby's theory was expanded by Mary Ainsworth and her colleagues after a classic study in which they observed the behavior of one-year-old children. The psychologists watched as children and their mothers settled into an unfamiliar playroom.
At one point, the mothers left the room and then came back later. The children's behavior seemed to be based on the type of attachment they had with their mothers. Some were very distraught and clingy, while others seemed to be indifferent.
Attachment Theory Quotes (11 quotes)
From their observations, Ainsworth and the other psychologists identified three attachment styles: Each style can be defined by the level of avoidance and anxiety in the child. Let's go over the definitions and an example of all three attachment styles. Attachment Styles First, secure attachment style is characterized by low avoidance and low anxiety. Infants with a secure attachment style trust their caregivers.
They do not avoid their mothers, and display low anxiety when she is present. During the experiment, these infants happily explored the unfamiliar room when the mother was nearby.