Passionate Love: What is the “spark” and how can we keep it alive?
By all accounts, Kendra and Jason were passionate during the early A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness. Passionate love can be linked to addiction in our brains. Is it possible to have a passionate relationship that is healthy and long lasting?. However, if you're ready to put in the work, then being a passionate person who knows what he If you only have a vague idea about how to be passionate, then it'll be harder to proceed. .. Express Love in a Long Distance Relationship.
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How to have a stable and secure relationship, and keep the passion alive? How to become a family with or without children and yet remain lovers? We have gathered research, clues, and client feedback for some practical ways to stay hot and heavy. Susan Valentine Registered Psychotherapist Relationship therapists everywhere have been digesting the conversation started a few months ago by Daniel Bergner about female desire.
As in sexual desire. We've been as eye-opened as the rest. Since we started seeing clients, and for as long as we've been talking to women a very long timewe have been struck by what seems to be a trend of restlessness.
Women in particular, in solid marriages or long-term relationships, have been complaining that something is lacking. That something, most often, is passion. Bergner's book, What Do Women Want?
Adventures in the Science of Female Desiremakes us look at women's lust and libido in a whole new way. As it turns out, women's desire can start to wane between one and four years of being with the same partner. The waning factor being the committed relationship, being monogamy. It's backed up by research. In fact, Bergner even wonders if "monogamy's cure" may lie in the development of a female libido pill which would "reach into the psyche.
Emotional closeness may bring security, but it may also be dousing the flames of desire. At 3view, we ascribe to attachment theories for couples counselling. We believe in the mainstream view that healthy relationships depend on closeness, empathy, intimacy, and trust. And yet, we also believe that healthy relationships require a balance of passion and stability.
So, this may be one of the greatest conundrums a couple can face. Bergner cites research that shows "women who don't live with their partners retain their desire much more than women who do.
Sure, it works for some couples to live apart. But for many others, this is not the solution.
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Just as popping a pill for desire may not be the answer either. Further research, understanding, and shifts in our culture's acceptance of women's sexual desire, will shed more light on this delicate balance in relationships.
For those couples who have found their own keys to passion, or who prefer to bask in their rock-solid stability, keep it up. For the rest of you, we have gathered research, clues, and client feedback for some practical ways to stay hot and heavy: Try new activities or experiences together.
If you have children, get a babysitter once a week. Studies have shown that sharing an activity that is novel and exciting can increase your sense of passion. However, over the last few years, their sex life has dwindled and they rarely spend time together without their children. Kendra seeks out Jason for sexual intimacy and Jason often pulls away. According to experts, the most common reason couples lose their passion for each other and stop being sexually intimate is a pursuer-distancer pattern that develops over time.
Foster Emotional Intimacy A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness. In The Science of Trust, Dr. Gottman explains that couples who want to rekindle their passion and love need to turn towards each other. Practicing emotional attunement can help you stay connected even when you disagree. This means turning toward one another by showing empathy, instead of being defensive. Both partners need to talk about their feelings in terms of positive need, instead of what they do not need.
Gottman, expressing a positive need is a recipe for success for both the listener and the speaker because it conveys complaints and requests without criticism and blame. Scientists have discovered that oxytocin a bonding hormone released during the initial stage of infatuation causes couples to feel euphoric and turned on by physical touch.
It actually works like a drug, giving us immediate rewards that bind us to our lover.
Holding hands, hugs, and tender touch are great ways to affirm your love for your partner. Physical affection sets the stage for sexual touch that is focused on pleasure. Sex therapist and educator Dr. Micheal Stysma recommends that you set a goal of doubling the length of time you kiss, hug, and use sensual touch if you want to improve your marriage. Sexual attraction is hard to maintain over time. For instance, Kendra and Jason lack passion because they are unwilling to give up control and show vulnerability.
As a result, they avoid sex and rarely touch each other. Change your pattern of initiating sex Maybe you are denying your partner or coming on too strong.
Hold hands more often According to author Dr.