How to write what you want in a relationship

Transform Your Relationship – Part 5: Create A Relationship Vision | Mama Natural

how to write what you want in a relationship

Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix, Relationship Vision Spend 10 minutes writing out some visions for your relationship. Describe. They constitute a record of your relationship that she'll hold onto for the If you need some inspiration before you start writing, read this letter. Worse is when you have the slightest idea of what you want, but you "[Write] down the top 10 things you want in a relationship," Ziegler says.

We tackle the leaves of the problem instead of touching the roots. We fiddle with effects instead of addressing the causes. Why do we do this? But not just any kind of writing.

how to write what you want in a relationship

But how much closer does that really bring us to our loved ones? My answer is no. The good news is, I have been extensively testing a few writing practices which, if applied correctly and continuously, can help you: Become a better friend; Solve conflict in a compassionate and effective way; Make your exchanges more meaningful; Encourage other people to open up to you. In order to apply the ideas in this article, all you need is: The willingness to be vulnerable and face your own emotions, and A desire to make your relationships more authentic and fulfilling.

In the first months of our relationship, my partner and I were living in different countries.

How to know what you want in a relationship | 2KnowMySelf

When we were discussing ways to keep long distance communication, one of the first things he told me was: From then on, apart from the occasional voice call, our long distance communication was mostly restricted to two distinct formats: Long emails Handwritten letters Although this might seem impossible — and even ridiculous — in a world where texting and constant updating are an inevitable part of our relationships, I believe this way of communicating was the reason why we stayed together and remain together, more than 4 years later.

A recent study shows that sending too many texts can create some disconnects in committed relationships. During our long distance relationship, my partner and I refrained from communicating with each other through texting, and instead sent each other a long email every second or third day.

The benefits were immense: By writing long, focused emails, we were able to go deeper and access complex thoughts that we would never be able to reach in a text or even a short conversation; As a consequence, writing those emails also served as a self-reflexive and sometimes meditative practice, allowing us to learn about ourselves in the process; As we knew that it would take the other person a day or two to get back to us, we avoided the anxiety of constantly checking for replies and we were able to focus on personal projects without distractions; The intervals between each email prevented us from getting bored of each other — which sometimes happens when you communicate with someone exclusively via digital media — because we always had something interesting and new to say; Because of the amount of time, focus and love we poured into our emails, we saw each piece of correspondence as something to be treasured: I remember setting aside intentional time to read his emails, and my heart jumped with excitement every time I saw his name on my inbox.

how to write what you want in a relationship

But there was one thing we treasured even more than long emails, and that was sending and receiving handwritten, palpable, physical letters. There is something special in crafting a long letter to someone you love. When you dedicate focused time to write to people, they will feel valued and loved — even if your grammar is imperfect and your structure inconsistent.

The Ultimate Source for Understanding Yourself and others

Also, this is not restricted to people who live far away from you. Even if my partner and I live together now, it still fills me with joy when I wake up to find a surprise love letter on my bedside table. But what can you write about?

how to write what you want in a relationship

If you start writing or typing and do it for a long enough period of time, even if at first you feel stuck, your brain will eventually start making valuable connections and accessing gradually more interesting thoughts.

However, if you want to use your writing to powerfully address the root of your problems and create authentic relationship healing, then the next section is for you. You may not know for certain right away, but you should at least have a rough idea. Getting to know yourself better can help with this.

Dating can also help refine your list, but making a serious commitment before really understanding your requirements in a relationship can be detrimental. Typically when we go into a relationship without truly understanding our requirements, we end up trying to change our partner, which never ends well. A loving relationship is meant to be the reward of knowing what you wanted and receiving it.

Getting into a relationship in order to figure out what you want is backwards. Ask yourself what it is you appreciate in a partner. What will cause you to write off a potential partner perhaps not having the same goals and dreams? Get to know your own personal likes and dislikes. This is the one time where everything can be about what you want. All of your decisions are your own.

How to Use Writing to Radically Improve Your Relationships

No one can tell you who to be. And while in a relationship, you still have to remember that you complete yourself. Your self-esteem should not begin or end with how that person feels about you. Be willing to give the person you love the shirt off your back, but your self-worth? Never give them that.

  • What do you really want
  • How to know what you want in a relationship
  • Mike and Genevieve’s Relationship Vision

You have to honestly know that you will be happy with or without them. This little piece of knowledge makes it easier for you to leave a relationship that causes you anguish, and find one that better serves you.

How to Find Out What You Want in a Relationship: 12 Steps

Every person will come with his or her own flaws, and every relationship will require a little work. Some words of advice my wise mother once gave me: How big of a prize is defined by how much you love and respect yourself. You determine how much you are worth.